A new kind of resolution

New Years has always been my favorite holiday. I love the fresh start, the reminder to check in with self, the gratitude for existing, and of course the fireworks. In lue of a new years resolution,
​I found myself deep in thought about who my future self will be. Instead of goals that I'll forget about in a few months, I wrote a letter to myself as a reminder as to what it is I really want, a reminder as to who my true self is, and what it is I can I do now to support myself in my journey.

Dear Future Self, 
Thank you for being here. Thank you for taking time to look inward and reflect on the younger you. She has a lot of love for you, and  a lot of questions. In all honesty, there are a lot of expectations too. 

I hope that we feel fulfilled, challenged and excited by life. 
I hope that we feel successful.
I hope that we continue into deep levels of healing. 
I hope that we feel strong. 
I hope we feel healthy.
I hope we feel free.
I hope we can look around at a community of people we love. 
I hope that life looks better than I can even imagine right now.


But maybe those expectations aren’t fair.  There's a lot of wisdom I hope to have gained between now and then. I hope a lot of living has happened. But I have faith that the person that develops between now and then will honor self, and will be built on the back of millions of moments, and tough decisions, and rising after hard times and forgiveness and patience and love and light. 

I am hopeful you exist. I’m hoping that the hard work, the whole lot of tears and anger and the investment in yourself has led you to an entirely new wonderful place. While I’m sure that this new place and new phase of Sasha is not without its challenges. I’m not naive enough to believe that anymore. But I am still hopeful. I hope that everyday in this new time there is so much love. There is so much wholeness. There’s feelings of accomplishment. There’s peace within. There’s opportunity and wrong decisions and utter joy and so much growth. That questions get answered. That questions get asked. That I learn. I reflect. That feeling deeply doesn’t leave me resentful. 


My ego wants to know, have you saved the world yet? Are you perfect yet? Are you done making mistakes and have you accomplished everything you've ever considered wanting for yourself? Are other people proud of you?

Or maybe what I really should be asking is something a little different. Have you found joy within? Have you cultivated a life that you love? Do you continue to grow everyday? Whats life like? What should I be prepared for? 

As I sit in a cozy little corner on a rainy day in London, I am hopeful you exist. I am hopeful you feel just how much I love. Just how grateful I am. Thank you.

With all of my love,
xx Your younger self